Compassion, here? Pfft! Please...

There is so much that has been going on in my life that I have just now realized that I have been neglecting y’all.  I am so very sorry.  Well ok only kinda sorry.  I have a life too y’all. 

So I had a job at a domestic violence shelter and I loved it.  I got that job back in November of last year.  About  the same time I stopped writing y’all.  I really needed that job.  Don’t know if you all know this about me but I am a survivor of Domestic Violence and this job really hit home.  That is another story. 

 

Now seeing that I was working for a DV shelter I saw a lot of stuff and most of that is with the staff.  Yes there were times that a woman and her kids came in and I was beside myself upset about what had happened to them.  I can’t discuss that one; but the things that I am referring to is the fact that the staff there are horrible.  They don’t know how to treat people in general much less a woman that was being abused for god knows how long.  At times I wanted to scream at them that they are human too!!!   They thought that just because a woman didn’t do her chore on time she should potentially get a “write up” that might cause her to have to leave the shelter and possibly live on the street until she could find somewhere else to go.  That isn’t right, I don’t care who you are or what you are trying to prove.  Everyone needs a little sway every now and then.  That’s not to say that if you come in drunk or high and decide that you want to sit there and cuss me out or threaten me or my family with harm that I am not going to get you out of there as soon as I can; but if you come in drunk or high and go to your room to sleep it off and come to speak with me the next day about it I will let it slid the first time.  Everyone makes a mistake or two, we are all human.  Imagine how boring life would be if we all followed the rules all the time.   With all that said, and all that always happening, I stayed.  I stayed because they needed me.  They needed someone that was on their side in there, someone that would stand up for them in their time of need, someone that would stand there and listen when they needed it or give them advice if they wanted it or maybe just a hug.  Sometimes you just need a hug, or to cry, or scream, or maybe just laugh.  I wanted to know that at least they had someone. 

 

Before then, I had never contacted anyone outside of the shelter.  I was told that it wasn’t allowed and that I would lose my job.  Then I heard of one of the girls that I worked with inviting one of the clients to live with her for a while.  She still has her job and doesn’t do a damn thing to keep it.   The breaking point of all of it for me was when I was in Galveston, on September 22^nd, and received a call that one of the ladies and her 3 kids; ages 2, 1, and 4 months; were kicked out because she had failed to complete her chore on time and was unable to call to let someone know because she had no phone with her.  She was asked to leave on Saturday before, and had been out since then.  That was it!  I asked the girl that had called me if the client had called since then.  No she had not called and no one has heard anything from her and no one has tried to call her either.  I didn’t bother asking her why no one has called her I just asked for her number.  A couple of minutes after that I called the client to make sure that she was ok and had a place to stay.  That is when she told me that in fact she and the kids had spent the last 2 nights in her truck and that she was going to be doing that again tonight, because when she left they had not given her any numbers for other shelters that she could call.  I was livid!!!  Why do they do this?!  How can they knowingly kick out a woman and her 3 babies and not give her at least a sheet of paper with numbers to other shelters!!!  That is the moment that I knew that I had to really start doing something actively to help these women or no one else would.  I took it upon myself to call around to other shelters and look for her another place to go.  I called 9 shelters that night and spoke to several others that were at the conference with me the next day.  It took me 2 days to find her a place to go.  That was 2 days that she slept in her car with her kids.  2 fucking days!!!!!  This could have been avoided if the shelter staff were a little more compassionate! 

 

So on October 7^th right after a confidential staff meeting, I was called into the caseworker’s office.  I was then told that on September 29^th I broke confidentiality when I contacted the client, and that I was being let go.  Yep, she told me that another staff member called her and told her that I had called the shelter to specifically ask for that clients number and take her food and diapers.  Then, as I was about to leave, the Executive Director, who was also in the room while I was being fired, stopped me and asked me if I would like to tell them anything or any names that have also broken the rules.  REALLY!!!  YOU WANT TO ASK ME THAT QUESTION AFTER YOU HAVE ALREADY FIRED ME!!!???  I looked her square in the face and said, “Why in the fuck would I tell you a fucking thing, it’s not like it is going to get me my job back!  Fuck y’all!” Pfft like I would tell them any motherfuckin thing!  So now that I have been fired, and don’t have a job, guess I can say whatever I want, right?  So I want someone to explain to me how one of the staff members that still has a job can have 2 CPS cases and has had a police report filed on her for “spanking” two kids in the daycare of the shelter.  How many asses do you have to kiss to keep your job after that one?  How about the staff member that verbally abuses the other staff members on her shift and makes the workplace hostile, or the one that yells and takes food from the children if they are caught eating after 9:30 in the morning?  I lost my job for helping a woman and her kids find a safe place to sleep.  I have so much more to say on this topic but it will have to be another day because Mert is looking at me wondering what is taking me so long…

<3 y’all and would love some feedback on this one.

Special needs children and SEX! How you might do 'it'

So this post is a little off track for what I normally do but I thought that I would try to help.

I was recently asked how to tell your child about the birds and the bee's?  The only catch on this is the one asking me as a child with special needs.  I am not sure how to answer that question for a special needs boy, but I will try my damnedest to try and explain what I did.

So my daughter was 10 when we had the 'talk' and it went ok.......

I sat her down and told her the basics, like ok so you know because of looking at your brother that you have a Ya' Ya' and your brother has a wennie.  So soon you will be having a period and that is where........and I explained what that was and why we have it.  That was the 'talk' that she got when she was 10ish.

When she turned 13 we had a different talk. 

I let her know that masturbation was ok when she was alone.  I told her that sex before marriage was not ok with me or her dad but that she would most likely have it anyways and because I knew that that might happen I wanted her to know all that she can about it.

I told her about all, ALL, of the STD's that she could get and what they do to her body.  I also let her know that some of them will not go away with medicine.  I told her that if she did chose to have pre-marital sex that I wanted her to go and get birth control first.  (you can judge me all you want on that one but I would rather her be safe and not get pregnant than come home one day like I did and be pregnant and not do what all she was meant to do)  

I am by no means an expert I am just a mom.   I have a teenage daughter.  I was once a teenage girl and I know what all goes on in a girls head. 

This part of my blog was copied from the website FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE BLOG.  It is not my writing.  I always give credit where credit is due :)

There is often a lot of anxiety around talking to children with special needs about growing up, relationships and sex. Parents worry their children may be vulnerable to exploitation and abuse. But by teaching your child about sex and relationships you can help keep them safe.

Whether your child has special needs or not, they will still hit puberty and the chances are they will have sexual feelings. Giving them the information they need to understand those feelings and channeling them appropriately is very important.

Sadly, a lot of young people with special needs get negative messages about sex – ‘Don’t do that, it’s not nice!’ ‘Stop touching yourself, that’s bad!’ As your child turns into a young adult, they need sensible information and advice to help them develop positive, healthy attitudes.

19 Tips For Talking About Sexuality & Relationships

The following tips for talking to your child about sexuality and relationships have been contributed to Netbuddy by parents and special needs professionals.  We hope they will give you some ideas for handling this sensitive, but important subject.

1. Public & private

Teach the difference between public & private. This can be body parts, places, clothing, behaviors & communication. If you do this at an early age, your child will learn this important difference before puberty.

2. Take it somewhere private

If your child starts to discuss a private activity in public, interrupt or move to a more private area, so you are modeling where to have these sorts of conversations.

3. Appropriate behavior

Talk about what kind of behavior is appropriate in public and in private. For e.g., “Is it OK to kiss and hug your boyfriend during a lesson at college?”

4. Body parts

When bathing, label the body part and whether it is public or private. Use anatomically correct names for genitals.

5. Encourage independence

Whenever possible, & from a young age, encourage independence in wiping/cleaning after going to the toilet & when bathing/drying. If your child needs your help, put your hand over theirs while they do the wiping/drying/cleaning. Tell them you are doing this because their body belongs to them.

6. Touch

Teach your child that they ‘own’ their body. Nobody can touch their body without their consent. They choose who they share their body with, and it’s OK to say ‘no’.

7. Peer pressure

Make sure your child understands they don’t need to kiss, cuddle or have sex with someone if they don’t want to. Remind them they are in control of their body.

8. Just say ‘no’!

Talk about consent with your child. Do they feel confident enough to say ‘no’ to being intimate if they are not ready? Practice saying ‘No’ with them, using assertive body language and eye contact.

9. Comfortable & uncomfortable

Talk about ‘comfortable’ and ‘uncomfortable’ types of touch. ‘When you give me a hug I feel really loved & comfortable.’ ‘Kicking hurts & I feel unsafe & uncomfortable when it happens.’

10. Touch changes

Talk about how touch can start off feeling comfortable, then can become uncomfortable. For eg ‘When you were wrestling with your brother you felt safe until he was rough & then you felt uncomfortable.’

11. Ban ‘good’& ‘bad’

Link the feeling to ‘comfortable’ or ‘uncomfortable’ rather than ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Using ‘good’ or ‘bad’ may make the child feel they are bad if they have an uncomfortable feeling.

12. Business touch

We ask people with disabilities to sit quietly and allow their bodies to be touched by strangers a lot … doctors, therapists, aides, care assistants, etc. This leaves them vulnerable to abuse. Teach about ‘business touch’ e.g. ‘It is the business of the doctor to touch your foot and help it grow straighter.’

13. Explain what you’re doing

Explain to people what you are doing when you have to apply medical ointment/creams to their genitals or clean them when they are soiled. This is an excellent time to talk about private & who can touch, & why the touching is happening.

14. Take it slowly

Don’t bombard your child with a lot of information about sex at once. Be prepared to tell them things again to reinforce the message and help them understand. Make sure you speak to your child at a level they can understand.

15. Keep an open mind

Think about your own feelings, attitudes, values and comfort level related to sexuality issues. Try to maintain an open mind when talking to your child about sexual issues. Try not to react negatively to what they say or do.

16. Get your facts right

Make sure you have correct information before giving it to your child. It’s OK to tell them you’re not sure about an issue and you will find out.

17. Three’s company

It can be helpful to ask a friend or support worker to accompany your child on dates in the early stages of a new relationship. They don’t need to sit with them on a romantic date, but could sit in the same café reading a book for example, so still be close at hand for support when needed.

18. Keep it to yourself

If your child is going on a date with someone new, make sure they don’t divulge personal details, such as address, mobile number, bank or passport details. Talk about the importance of privacy.

19. Hormones and emotions

Be prepared for the emotional turbulence that can come with hormonal changes during puberty. Try your best to be patient and understand that your child may need more alone time.

I sure hope that this helps and I would also recommend that you visit the blog that I got some of this information from...

Sporking and Gardening!

So a couple of things has been happening around the homestead....

1.  I hate the horse girl that has horses in with mine.  She sux big giant balls!  She doesn't take care of her horses.  My husband and I do.  It is so bad that Bear (14) actually asked why we are caring for her horses!  That is bad when a 14 year old notices. 
      a.  I text her to let her know things like 'Hey I am about to feed are you here this week'
           No answer....EVER!

     b.  I text her to let her know that the horses need hay.  No answer...

     c.  I text her to let her know that if I have to spend another $50 on a roll of hay for the horses
          hers will not be left in the pen to eat all of the hay that I have bought......guess what, she
          fucking responds.  'we are getting hay in a day or two so no worries.'  Bitch that is what it
          takes?

 Me threatening to not give your horses hay for you to respond?!  WTF-ever at least you responded.  RIGHT? 

God she is really wearing my nerves, and no that isn't all...

2. She still owes us money for a roll of hay and the feed that we bought her horses about a month and a half ago.  I wouldn't be bringing this back up but for the fact that we went to feed all of the horses yesterday and low and behold her two horses have brand fucking new halters on!!!!  Those damn  things are like $20.00 a piece for the regular ones.  Did she get the regular ones, you ask?  FUCK NO SHE DIDN'T SHE GOT THE ONES THAT ARE REFLECTIVE IN THE DARK!!!!!!

     BITCH PAY ME MY FUCKING MONEY!!!!!!  I swear on all that is good I will spork you in the face, throw you against a dumpster, toss you into the hole in my backyard, and all the while being very humble about it!!!!!  Argghhh!!!





Ok so that is done....The other thing that has been happening on my home site is........wait for it............

I started my garden!  EEKKK I am so freakin happy about that!  Here are some pictures of it!!!!

 

Do you guys have any pointers on what all I can do so I don't spoil it?  That would be great seeing that I didn't take after my grandma or grandpa on that one (I didn't get the green thumb)...

I am afraid that it will turn out like.....well......







Yep ok so that is all for now!  Hope you enjoyed it....Please like my blog because sometimes I feel like I am just ranting for my own amusement and well that isn't as fun as ranting for yours.  :)

My Favorite Porn-Star

So I have a question for all of you...Do you have a old friend that it is just best that you two stay away from each other?

I do....I miss her......a lot.......A LOT! 

I am not allowed to talk to her because she is bad for me. 

I have known her for 20 or so years....I was there for her during her divorce and the birth of her first child....

She was there for me when my dad left.....the birth of my first child.....the maid of honor at my wedding to my husband...

And so much more....we have had wild and crazy nights and we have had heart to heart moments....I miss her....

She is not good for me.....she has grown up to be someone that doesn't have respect for me anymore....she stands me up.....puts me down......and she has had a problem with drugs and such in the not so recent past....

God I really miss her though, even if she does all that to me!  I miss having someone to talk to about all kinds of stuff...that is why I started to blog....I wish we had never fallen apart.......I wish she would have never done the stuff she has done....how many do-overs do you give one person?

She will always be my Porn-star!  I will always love her!  And I will miss her terribly forever!

Am I wrong?

Hey, I missed y'all!  How are my people!?  All 1 of you HAHAHA!!!

Yea, OK we need to catch up a little...

I told you about the crazy horse girl down the street last time?  Well she struck again!  Yep!  I had to feed this morning, and I text her to let her know that I was feeding.  I texted her again to let her know that I was there and ready to feed.  I called and let her know that I wanted to feed before the storm, that I could see coming, started; and that I was going to feed my horses in 5 minutes if she didn't hurry.  She never showed up!  EVER!!!  Let me back up to Friday....

Mert and I fought.  He got pissed at me for something, whatever.  So he left to go and get him something to eat at around 6:30ish.  He gets back around 8ish and asks me if Erin had called (BTW that is crazy horse girl)  Nope, she didn't, why?  He tells me that he just saw them all leave with both trucks both trailers and all 4 of the 4-wheelers.  Huh, that's odd......

About 15-20 minutes later we get the following from Crazy horse girl..."Hey we r going be gone for the weekend garage door is unlock just lift up" word for word....

WTF!!!  I am not your animals keeper!!!!

We had been feeding her horses because they are in the same pasture as mine and I didn't think it would be fair to feed mine and not hers, when she isn't here.  That being said, they have been at his mom's house for the last week and don't come out to feed still.   So they assumed that we had nothing to do this weekend (which we didn't but still) and they TOLD us to basically feed their horses!  Sorry, who in the fuck do you think that you are talking too?!?!?!?  I don't get paid to babysit your animals!   

So that being said, that is why I did what I did this morning, and didn't feed her horses.  At that time because she would not answer me I didn't know if she was at his mom's or not.  It is not my job to keep track of her horses and vice versa.  She informed my 14 year old daughter yesterday that she was not going to allow her horses to eat the hay that we buy anymore.  Oh, really, OK, well I think you may have a problem because I will make sure that my horses have hay and you will pay me if you keep your horses in there, they will be eating that hay unless you sit next to it day and night to guard it.  FUCKING DUMB ASS!!!  I believe that I am doing the right thing by not letting her take advantage of me and my husbands generosity.  Am I wrong?

Le' Sigh!

I am not quite sure that I am "normal"! 

Sure I have a family, dogs, cat, even horses, but does that mean that I am "normal"?

Me like most people wonder stuff.  Kids wonder stuff like 'Why is the sky blue' and 'why is the grass green' but as adults we know the answer to those questions.  I wonder more strange things like is there really life out there?  Do we really go to Heaven or Hell?  Even stuff like why on earth do we as humans have eyebrows?


Do you know any of the answers to those questions?  I mean really know the answer not just what you were told.  I mean really think about it!  If there is life out there do you think we would know about it by now?  Do they really 'visit' us while we sleep?  Why do they wait for us to sleep, come on over why I am awake so I can see your strange ass!  Poke and prod me, Um no thanks! 

Heaven and Hell?  Who's to say that we don't just die?  What if when we die we are just really disappointed because we just stay here?  What if we don't go anywhere we just cease to exist?  I know if you believe in God you should already know the answer to this but haven't you ever doubted that this is what really happens?

What about words?  You know like languages?  Who in the hell sat there one day and said "No I will not grunt anymore when I want something!  From now on I will talk!"  "This will be a wheel and fire and rock and etc......."  Who did that?  They must have been really hated by their community being a smart ass and all! 

If you can or want to try and answer that questions please feel free to comment below!  I would love someone else's perspective on this! 

If you have a question you want answered Lets hear it!!!!!!