The other "GIRL"

So I just wanted to start out by saying hello, I am a 35 year old woman, that hasn’t lived under the same roof as her parents for about 15+ years.  Now with that out of the way let me clear the air a little bit…

I am not the person that you want to come up to and give a command.  For instance,  you need to not speak to *** because *** isn’t right for you.  ß that right there will make me have *** become my BFF forEVER!!!  Just so you know.  My mom is quite demanding when it come to me, or better yet when it comes to her “sons” that aren’t really hers.  So my step brother decided a long while ago that he was going to do the “manly” thing and marry the girl that he got pregnant.  Well I thought that was the wrong choice but he thought better of it and married her and they had a cute little family, whom I adore.  Those girls are my nieces by every since of the word except by blood.  I love those girls and would gladly take them in if anything were to ever happen to their parents.  Well my “brother” screwed up and cheated on his now wife with a girl that he went to school with.  His wife the whole time being faithful.  

With that being said she did have a problem and was very sexual torwards everyone that she knew.  She would grab your boobs, slap your ass, lick your face, and so on and so on.  He, for some reason, felt the need to start seeing another ‘Girl’ while still married and living together.  I just want to make sure that we all know that he was in the wrong here because it will relate to the rest of the story…

He left eventually for the new ‘Girl’.  She was not and is not a woman because a woman would never steal another woman’s man.   He filed for divorce and moved back home to my mom’s and his dad’s, still seeing this ‘girl’ on the sly…or so he thought.   He received his divorce with a few stipulations…these are the one’s that I know about…

1. The girls cannot be around any felons that they know of…(that means if one of them are going to a function and knowingly bring the girls that is a no-no)

2. Both have to wait at least 12 months to move in with a person of  interest…(The ‘girl’ that he was cheating with cannot live with him for at least 12 months after the divorce)

Those are the 2 major ones that we are going to focus on here…

1. Felons- He has took those girls around felons from day one and the ex didn’t know about it.  **shame shame*  See his whole family is a giant felony record, especially his brother who cannot stay out of jail for longer than 6 months.  ** I am taking bets BTW of how long this stay is going to be if anyone wants in**

2. Live ins-Oh I know that she was “staying in your room with you every night from day one.  Ex knows this too.  Just a friendly FYI ;)

I don’t ‘feed’ anyone information and they day you start to accuse me of it is the day I will start.  I don’t play.  I may be the “step-sister” of the “man” but I will be damned if you speak my name as a lie!!!  If I wanted to tell anyone anything you can bet your FLAT ASS that I would!  I don’t like you nor will I ever like you!  You to me are an adulterer and will always be no matter if you marry him or not!  You have a question ask me!  Don’t whisper it behind my back and then get me and my mother into an argument in the department store because of it!  I am a grown woman with my own thought and wants and doings do not EVER  think that you are big enough to tell me who I can speak with.  Bitch please!!!

NOTE:  If you think this is about you then it probably is....

Two for one is not always cool.

I feel like I have been socked in the stomach.  You all know that my BFF is sick and I am totally afraid of losing her.  Now it has finally hit me that I am not only going to lose her but I am also losing my Aunt.

Tina and her Mean doggy

 I love my aunt as much as I love my mom.
 She was the fun aunt.
 She was the one that you would go to if you were in trouble or wanted to get into trouble.

I was asked today by my mom if I could go with her and find something that we can lay her to "sleep" in forever.  She kinda caught me off guard.  Isn't that something that her son is supposed to do?  I am going to have to help my mom and my grandma plan a funeral for a daughter, sister, mom, aunt, and friend to so many.  So many that haven't seen her since she got sick.

My husband asked me tonight why we were having a closed casket?  Well because if someone wanted to see her they should have given her the respect to see her now when it counts.  I for one don't want people coming in and gawking at her when she is finally at peace.  No one goes to see her now.  My mom, my grandma, me, and sometimes when he can my uncle.  Her son has came down to see her twice in two years.  He doesn't care about anything but getting his grubby little hands on what she has left.

My Aunt Tina and Cousin Kelly.

I don't know if I will be able to do any of this sober.  I pray that I can but as I write this I am falling apart.  I am so very scared of losing her and T.G. at the same time.  I don't think that as strong of a person that I am that I will be ok after that.

My aunt when I was around 16 thought that it would be funny to come up to my cousin's room with some wild turkey and give me and Christi a shot of it.  Wow that was some nasty shit.  She was also the one that let me stay with her during the summer of 94' when I went to band camp at SFA.  If she wouldn't have let me stay with her I wouldn't have been able to go.  Thank you TT for being there for me and showing me that sometimes you just have to have a little fun in life and let go.



She is and always will be my Aunt TT....... </3  My heart is breaking.  Mostly for her and the fact that she has no visitors...none.  It is sad that the end of her days and she will be spending them alone.   

My friend wants to leave and I don't think it's fair....

Can I just say that I am scared that I am going to lose my friend...

I don't want to lose her but I don't want her to live the way that she is having to live.  I will so miss our talks and such and her dreams of going here and stealing stuff ;) 

Is it bad for me to say this? 

                                                    I DON'T WANT TO LOOSE HER!  

She is important to me, her son, her husband, and several other people.  It's not fair.

That's all...............................  goodnight .....................GP SUX

Why can't we be friends?

A really good friend is so very hard to catch...They are like a good man!  If you find one that you like, someone else already has them. 

I have had many of acquaintance but I have only had one real friend (besides Mertis).  She was my BEST-FRIEND!  Like seriously, we had key chains and everything!  I loved her so much.  I still do!  Her daughter is the best thing since fried chicken!  She was an easy friend to make.  We met in high school.  After I pulled the stunt of getting pregnant and dropping out of school we kinda lost touch for a while.  I found her again in my 20's after having my second child and she was pregnant with her first!  It was meant to be!  Had to be, otherwise we wouldn't have found each other again, right!?  Oh I didn't know all of the problems that she had accumulated over the years.  I learned to look past them, but they were still there.  They will always be there! 

I am not sure if you know this or not but I am a bit of a bitch!  Always have been!

 She was ok with this and my many other problems.  Like not feeling I was loved, or needing.  My OCD about everything.  My husband.  My kids and being a mother bear over them.  All of my problems.

I guess you could say that I was the bad friend too though.  She had her own problems.  She wasn't faithful to her husband.  I doubt he was to her though.  She took pills.  Lots of pills.  She always had better things to do.  She would stand me up constantly for everything, IE: movies, shopping, etc....  <--That is what did it for me finally.  I was tired of always clearing my schedule for her and I to go do something only to be forgotten.  She wouldn't even call to let me know that she wasn't coming.  She just wouldn't show up, wouldn't take my calls or messages.  Then later tell me that she was busy and forgot.  Really?!  So I was done.

Now I am trying to find another friend.  It's hard to find someone that will take all of your problems, but that you are ok dealing with theirs to.  Let me just say people have problems.  Some people only want to be your friend when it is convenient for them.  Some want to just use you and then dump you.  Some will surprise you.

 Case in point.   I was taking my kids to daycare (a long time ago).  There was a girl up there and we sorta "hit it off "  I was unaware that she and her husband were 'swingers'!  OMG, when I found out that I was a perfect 'match' for her husband and my husband for her, I ran, FAST!  That is not ok with me.  I have found my partner and do not want none of yours.  It is nice of you to share but not with me, thank you!

Another person I thought was a friend.  I worked with her and she was so nice.  We didn't hit it off right away but we grew on each other.  At work we were inseparable.  We called each other on the phone all the time and we made plans to go places that never quite worked out.  Then I broke my leg.  Lost my job.  Had to stay home.  Was on strict bed rest.  She stopped calling.  Stopped messaging me on FB.  Then I send her a happy birthday message.  She says thanks.  I see on a mutual friends page that she had a B-day party and didn't invite me.  I am still not sure as to why.  I think it may have been because we were not the same race.  Everyone there was of a certain Ethnicity.  I don't know.  I voiced my "M-ness" and was deleted from said page never to be heard from again.

So can you answer the question of the day, week, month, year, century.....Why are friends so freakin' hard to find and then keep?

Some more...

About Me!  You want to know more about me?! 

Ok so No one really wants to know more about me but I am Stealing this off of Humble's page because I thought it was cute!  If she finds out and is upset over it I will kindly take it down, but come on.......

So here is a little more about me.....


1. Where were you born?  Houston, Texas

2. Were you named after someone? I was told that I was names after my Aunt that passed when she was 11 years old...

3. How many children do you have?  Two..Bear 14 y/o and Bubba 11 y/o

4. How many pets do you have?  2 Horses, 3 dogs, and 1 cat

5. Your worst injury? My Recently broken leg...OH That was a bitch to overcome..I also 14 years ago went through 27 hours of labor with the eldest...

6. Do you have a special talent? No...not that I know of...I can go from sweet and innocent to your worst nightmare in about 2 seconds flat.
7. Favorite thing to bake? Nothing I hate baking....I love to cook!  If it is something that I have never cooked before that is even better!!! (NOT BAKING)

8. Favorite Fast Food? I really like Sonic, but recent events have made it more difficult to have here lately...

9. Would you bungee jump? No! NO! FUCK NO!  I DON'T LIKE TO BE HIGH IN THE AIR AND HAVE THE CHANCE OF MY FAT ASS FALLING AND MAKING A BIG BOOM!!!

10. What is the first thing you notice about people?  Eyes...Teeth <-- That's funny because my teeth are not perfect and that is one of the first things I notice...

11. When was the last time you cried?  Every night!  Over my long lost Charlie!!!  :(

 12. Any current worries? My kids will not grow up to be everything that they dream of ( or that I dream of them being)

13. Name 3 drinks you drink regularly. Coffee, Dr Pepper, Chocolate Milk.

14. What’s your favorite book?  I don't have a favorite one.  I will read almost anything!

15. Would you like to be a pirate? OMG to be able to say "WALK THEE PLANK MAITY!" Would be epic!

16. Favorite Smells? Fresh cut grass, a clean man, Snuggle (the blue one) Spring!
17. Why do you blog?  Mostly to vent.  I don't really have any 'girlfriends' because I am a bitch and because once I make a friend I expect it to last forever and I am really dissapointed when something happens and it doesn't...

18. What song do you want played at your funeral?   Humm...I have never really thought about.  Something off the wall maybe.  How about Wild thang for when people are coming in to sit down! <--EPIC! <--(New word)  Then just so I know everyone will be crying, Live like you were Dying...

19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? That I speak my mind ALL THE TIME!  I can't seem to keep my mouth shut!

20. Favorite hobby? Well right now it is my garden and I am trying to get some chickens...That is bound to change though, give me a few weeks!

21. Name Something you’ve done, you never thought you would do? Have kids. 

22. What do you look for in a friend? Loyalty, Won't stand you up, Will listen and not always think that the world revolves around them, Not a drug user (sorry), There is alo.t How about I blog about it :)

23. Favorite fun things to do?  Spend time outside (when it's cool enough) Used to be ride my horses...

24. Pet peeves?  Moving anything in my house!  Please don't touch my shit!  Cussing around small kids that are not yours.  Talking on the phone at a resturant.  Putting words in my mouth <--Seriously, don't do that!  Trying to get me to change my views on Pro-whatever!  NO!

25. What’s the last thing that made you laugh? I sure it was something I saw on FB!

Ok So that was a little on me!  Hope you enjoyed it! 

My Favorite Porn-Star

So I have a question for all of you...Do you have a old friend that it is just best that you two stay away from each other?

I do....I miss her......a lot.......A LOT! 

I am not allowed to talk to her because she is bad for me. 

I have known her for 20 or so years....I was there for her during her divorce and the birth of her first child....

She was there for me when my dad left.....the birth of my first child.....the maid of honor at my wedding to my husband...

And so much more....we have had wild and crazy nights and we have had heart to heart moments....I miss her....

She is not good for me.....she has grown up to be someone that doesn't have respect for me anymore....she stands me up.....puts me down......and she has had a problem with drugs and such in the not so recent past....

God I really miss her though, even if she does all that to me!  I miss having someone to talk to about all kinds of stuff...that is why I started to blog....I wish we had never fallen apart.......I wish she would have never done the stuff she has done....how many do-overs do you give one person?

She will always be my Porn-star!  I will always love her!  And I will miss her terribly forever!