Mass Murderer, Zombies, or a Vampire!?

Ok well nothing has really happened here lately..Ok well the following did!

So last night me and Bear were home alone. I was REALLY bored and I happened to look out the window and I think I saw a shadow in the yard. I asked her "Hey is the door locked I think I just saw a person walk across the yard". She said "Nooo?" and I said "yea."   So she goes and locks the door. Then I say "Is the back door locked?" and she goes and locks the back door. This is what happened next... I SWEAR THIS IS A TRUE STORY!!!

I said "Oh gawd, what if they try and break in and they have a gun, then what!? Oh I know the dogs will get them, SHIT!  But they might shoot the dogs, damn than what?! Oh, OH, maybe grandma (MIL) will hear them shoot, and she will come and shoot at them! What if they shoot grandma!? Well, maybe they would have called 911 by then. We will still be dead by the time the cops show up though! DAMN!!

OH, OH, What if it is zombies!? OH I know we can sic the dogs on them and run out the back door. Oh Shit, what if they have us surrounded!?"  So Bear says "I have a baseball bat mom!"   "Okay! Good we can knock off their heads if they come after us. But we will have to leave the dogs behind because if they are bitten they become zombie dogs and zombie dogs are stupid! They will eat anything!  

Wait ya know if it is a vampire we are safe!"   Bear says "WHY!"   "Well because they can't get us if we stay in here because you have to invite a vampire in!"   PROBLEM SOLVED! 

(Update) I was told last night that I would still be screwed if it was a vampire because most vamps are HAWT and I would have been overcome with their HAWT-ness and invited them in........DAMN!

Now I swear that this really happened and when I told my husband about it he asked me if I was drunk or if I had been drinking.  Of Course I had not been drinking! DAMN!  But I really did see something!  I am still alive though :)  Have a great day y'all!  <3 all of you dearly!