Teabags?

OK so lets start off by saying I am a mom, I have been for a little over 14 years. Now lets move on to this story....Grab a tissue it's a good one...

I am in the kitchen on Monday washing dishes (yes I wash dishes alot) and I have Bear(14) put on some water for a pitcher of sweet tea.  When the water starts to boil I say "Go and get the teabags....(My son (10) explodes in laughter).....What the hell is so funny?" 

He tells me "Nothing!"  :/  "Really? Then why are you laughing?"  "I don't know!" 

OK so I am like HUMMMM.........whatever kids are weird...... So I continue "Bear go and get the teabags.........( AGAIN IT HAPPENS).....What the hell Bubba?!"  

(CONTINUES DIEING LAUGHING-He is literally crying he is laughing so hard)...."Bear put them in the pot..." 

Now I am still asking what is so funny buy the word Teabag?  Which then gets laughter not only from the boy but now Bear is laughing!!  WTF is so damn funny???!!!

I go into the bedroom so I can ask Mert.  "Mert do you think it is funny when I say 'teabag'?"  "no"  "They (points to living room) won't stop laughing!"  "Well they are :/ (don't like this word) stupid"
I say "UGH"  and walk out. 

TEA'S DONE!!

"Bear get me the bag of ice so I can fill up the pitcher."  She gets the ice and says nonchalantly "You want me to bang it on the ground?"  OMG!!!  You would have thought that that saying was the funniest thing on the planet!  He (bubba) has fallen off of the couch by now and is rolling laughing!! 

OK so I get that one, and unless your mind is already in the gutter you wouldn't find that funny, but guess what, his mind is there! 

So I have had it at this point and I tell them "Spill it! What is so funny about the word 'teabag'?  tell me NOW!"  (I don't like my kids knowing something that I don't know)

Well they don't tell me they show me.....(their version).......Bear sits on the floor and bubba takes her head and pulls it towards his (UM YEA)!  OMG!  STOP THAT!!  WTF!! 

They are dieing and I am freaking out!  I am told later by LOLO that is not what it means but hey let them believe that! 

I looked it up!  I don't want to do that!!! EVER!!!

teabagging

An adult act performed by consenting republican/conservatives on each other to express their fake outrage to imaginary tax increases (most of these idiots actually just got a tax break) During this act one republican/conservative nut job (pun intended) drops his pants in public and slowly lowers his scrotum into the eager mouth of another right wing nut lover. Some basic Teabagging participation rules 1: Participants have to be very low income (preferably on welfare) 2: Participants have to be avid Fox News watchers (this makes certain the participants are brainwashed to the extent of being borderline retarded) 3: Participants have to be republican/conservative On 04/15/09 (Tax Day) broke ass republicans throughout the country gathered in public and performed mass teabagging on each other for hours while complaining about some imaginary tax increases

ok Hope you enjoyed my unconfortable moment with my kids :)

To Be (sick) or not to be!

Ok, so, lets just start off by saying I have been sick. I layed in bed all day yesterday sleeping sick, and I only tell you this because if you didn't know that I had been sick well the following would make no sense. 

My House is a disaster! 

I just cleaned it Wednesday! Seriously! Like it was not just an, oh sure come and look at my living room but don't go anywhere else clean, No!  It was, Oh the president wants to come to my house? Sure let me give you the grand tour, clean!  Sadly it is back to its old ways!  I believe that I may have a ghost!  I can clean the house and wake up the next morning and nobody know what happened!  Case in point!
      'Who left this half a glass of milk on the counter over night?!'
         'not me'
          'wasn't me either mom'
            'I didn't have milk'!
 Oh, Really?  it wasn't any of you? REALLY?!  Ok, well that seems Legit!  GHOST!  So we call him Marvin.  So now I say
     'Oh none of you left it out'
         'Well it must have been Marvin' 

Onto other news....Honestly there isn't other news.....Oh there is!  Me and the MIL are talking, AGAIN!  The BIL or the SIL still haven't tried and Honestly I don't know if I want to speak with them.  I know you are going WTF is she talking about!  Ok well I guess I will recap. 

     Me and the in laws, specifically the MIL, BIL, and SIL get into arguments quite often about random stuff.  The last one was about my daughter and a blog that I had up but is now taken down.   My MIL was very rude to my daughter one day.  I blogged about it and was hit with a brick, not literally but by email.  Now if you have read all of my blogs you will notice that I don't use names so if I did mention you in one of my blogs it isn't like anyone will know that I am speaking about you.  They asked me not to "pull them into our fights" and then blocked me from their Face book pages!  I didn't say your Name **** ****!  Even if I had come on it isn't like anyone reads this anyways, right!  So just to say they haven't spoken to me since before Memorial day last year!  WOOHOO!!! Like I could care!  I do have to say though I have been losing less hair now!

Sorry I am a little spazzy, I jump around alot!  Try and keep up it might get interesting!

Back to the house....I am going on strike!  I am playing sick now...maybe for the rest of the week, I don't know yet.  I just don't think that if I clean all day on one day you should be able to destroy it on another!

Ok well stay out of trouble and don't let the Zombies get you!  Peace out!

Mass Murderer, Zombies, or a Vampire!?

Ok well nothing has really happened here lately..Ok well the following did!

So last night me and Bear were home alone. I was REALLY bored and I happened to look out the window and I think I saw a shadow in the yard. I asked her "Hey is the door locked I think I just saw a person walk across the yard". She said "Nooo?" and I said "yea."   So she goes and locks the door. Then I say "Is the back door locked?" and she goes and locks the back door. This is what happened next... I SWEAR THIS IS A TRUE STORY!!!

I said "Oh gawd, what if they try and break in and they have a gun, then what!? Oh I know the dogs will get them, SHIT!  But they might shoot the dogs, damn than what?! Oh, OH, maybe grandma (MIL) will hear them shoot, and she will come and shoot at them! What if they shoot grandma!? Well, maybe they would have called 911 by then. We will still be dead by the time the cops show up though! DAMN!!

OH, OH, What if it is zombies!? OH I know we can sic the dogs on them and run out the back door. Oh Shit, what if they have us surrounded!?"  So Bear says "I have a baseball bat mom!"   "Okay! Good we can knock off their heads if they come after us. But we will have to leave the dogs behind because if they are bitten they become zombie dogs and zombie dogs are stupid! They will eat anything!  

Wait ya know if it is a vampire we are safe!"   Bear says "WHY!"   "Well because they can't get us if we stay in here because you have to invite a vampire in!"   PROBLEM SOLVED! 

(Update) I was told last night that I would still be screwed if it was a vampire because most vamps are HAWT and I would have been overcome with their HAWT-ness and invited them in........DAMN!

Now I swear that this really happened and when I told my husband about it he asked me if I was drunk or if I had been drinking.  Of Course I had not been drinking! DAMN!  But I really did see something!  I am still alive though :)  Have a great day y'all!  <3 all of you dearly!