Two for one is not always cool.

I feel like I have been socked in the stomach.  You all know that my BFF is sick and I am totally afraid of losing her.  Now it has finally hit me that I am not only going to lose her but I am also losing my Aunt.

Tina and her Mean doggy

 I love my aunt as much as I love my mom.
 She was the fun aunt.
 She was the one that you would go to if you were in trouble or wanted to get into trouble.

I was asked today by my mom if I could go with her and find something that we can lay her to "sleep" in forever.  She kinda caught me off guard.  Isn't that something that her son is supposed to do?  I am going to have to help my mom and my grandma plan a funeral for a daughter, sister, mom, aunt, and friend to so many.  So many that haven't seen her since she got sick.

My husband asked me tonight why we were having a closed casket?  Well because if someone wanted to see her they should have given her the respect to see her now when it counts.  I for one don't want people coming in and gawking at her when she is finally at peace.  No one goes to see her now.  My mom, my grandma, me, and sometimes when he can my uncle.  Her son has came down to see her twice in two years.  He doesn't care about anything but getting his grubby little hands on what she has left.

My Aunt Tina and Cousin Kelly.

I don't know if I will be able to do any of this sober.  I pray that I can but as I write this I am falling apart.  I am so very scared of losing her and T.G. at the same time.  I don't think that as strong of a person that I am that I will be ok after that.

My aunt when I was around 16 thought that it would be funny to come up to my cousin's room with some wild turkey and give me and Christi a shot of it.  Wow that was some nasty shit.  She was also the one that let me stay with her during the summer of 94' when I went to band camp at SFA.  If she wouldn't have let me stay with her I wouldn't have been able to go.  Thank you TT for being there for me and showing me that sometimes you just have to have a little fun in life and let go.



She is and always will be my Aunt TT....... </3  My heart is breaking.  Mostly for her and the fact that she has no visitors...none.  It is sad that the end of her days and she will be spending them alone.   

Ohio Part 3.....

This week we visit with my sister and her husband. yay...

Can I just say that although I love my sister I probably will never go to visit with her again. 

I went up there on a budget, very strict budget that they knew about.  Yet I was still expected to purchase everything that we would be eating for the week.  Like milk and bottled water.  Then when we went out to eat I also had to purchase that.  So needless to say we didn't go anywhere because I didn't have the money to do so. 

I had a blast hanging out with my sister and my newest nephew though. 








We took a lot of really cute photo's of him but they sleep all the time, because, well,  he is new and he sleeps a lot so Booboo sleeps with him.......


We did go to Pennsylvania one day to go and see some fish but as soon as we crossed the Pa. Oh border it started to rain, hard, so we came back and went to the in-laws to watch a Browns game.

On our way!!

 
 Of course Matty falls asleep as soon as we get into the car...

On the second to last day we were there we became awesome like auntie and I had to take a few pictures.....


All in all I had fun.  On the way back in Tenn, where by the way they should clean up their highways, we hit a large piece of metal in the road and hurt my truck.  I didn't think that we would make it home, but we did where my husband and animals were happy to see me and my daughter was happy to see her bubba!!!  I would highly recommend you taking at least one road trip with one, just one of your kids to get to know them.  We had fun just the two of us....maybe I will do it again next year but with bear........

Our trip to Ohio....Part 1 of 3

SUPER STOKED!!!

Guess where I am going?  Yeppers, Ohio!!! I am going to see my sister and my partner in crime Tori!  I am so freakin' excited about it all.  I thought that I would keep y'all in the loop and tell you about my day to days leading up to and then until we get back. 

Week 1:  (getting ready) Planned my route and it is going to take me 19 hours and 11 minutes to go from Texas (gulf coast) to Ohio (Middle).  Yeah we'll see about that.  They don't factor in the fact that people have to pee and take breaks.  What if II see something that I want to look at?  Yep there is more time.

 I have begun cleaning my house so I won't have as much to do when I get back.  It is just me a bubba going so bear and Mertis will be left behind to care for animals and work and pay bills.  As I am cleaning my wonderful husband said, "I don't know why you are doing that, it isn't going to look like this when you get back."  ASSHOLE!  They better not mess my house up while I'm gone. 

I have started to pack slowly so I can make sure that I have everything that I need. 

The count down begins.....

Tuesday (3 days left) I have washed my last load of clothes today.  Packed my blanket and Bubba's Games for the X-box and Wii.  Towels and Washrags are packed. 

Wednesday (2 days Left) Getting the jitters now!!!  I am getting pissy because I am getting no help in the cleaning of the house before I leave and I am ARRRGGGG!  I am done with my packing.   Just need to pack the toiletries. 

Thursday (1 day at home left) <----EEKKKKK!!!! 

Friday (We leave tomorrow)  OMG MY STOMACH IS IN KNOTS!!!  I am super excited!!!  Gotta load the truck and I will be gone at 6am in the morning!!  Wish me luck!