Two for one is not always cool.

I feel like I have been socked in the stomach.  You all know that my BFF is sick and I am totally afraid of losing her.  Now it has finally hit me that I am not only going to lose her but I am also losing my Aunt.

Tina and her Mean doggy

 I love my aunt as much as I love my mom.
 She was the fun aunt.
 She was the one that you would go to if you were in trouble or wanted to get into trouble.

I was asked today by my mom if I could go with her and find something that we can lay her to "sleep" in forever.  She kinda caught me off guard.  Isn't that something that her son is supposed to do?  I am going to have to help my mom and my grandma plan a funeral for a daughter, sister, mom, aunt, and friend to so many.  So many that haven't seen her since she got sick.

My husband asked me tonight why we were having a closed casket?  Well because if someone wanted to see her they should have given her the respect to see her now when it counts.  I for one don't want people coming in and gawking at her when she is finally at peace.  No one goes to see her now.  My mom, my grandma, me, and sometimes when he can my uncle.  Her son has came down to see her twice in two years.  He doesn't care about anything but getting his grubby little hands on what she has left.

My Aunt Tina and Cousin Kelly.

I don't know if I will be able to do any of this sober.  I pray that I can but as I write this I am falling apart.  I am so very scared of losing her and T.G. at the same time.  I don't think that as strong of a person that I am that I will be ok after that.

My aunt when I was around 16 thought that it would be funny to come up to my cousin's room with some wild turkey and give me and Christi a shot of it.  Wow that was some nasty shit.  She was also the one that let me stay with her during the summer of 94' when I went to band camp at SFA.  If she wouldn't have let me stay with her I wouldn't have been able to go.  Thank you TT for being there for me and showing me that sometimes you just have to have a little fun in life and let go.



She is and always will be my Aunt TT....... </3  My heart is breaking.  Mostly for her and the fact that she has no visitors...none.  It is sad that the end of her days and she will be spending them alone.   

My Kid :0)

Yeah I know, my idea's are not always that great, but I think you might like this one! 

So I was sitting here and thinking about how yesterday I said that we were going to start doing something for Friday's, right?  Well I got it.  Friday will forever be known as Save me day...

Save me day is going to be about saving someone or something that is special to you and that was created when I read the blog about a woman and her child that has Autism. Link here <--- 

My child has ADHD and for a long time I didn't know what was wrong with her.  I just thought she was a 'bad' kid.  She was really bad.  She would hide under her desk at school, throw stuff, cuss, scream, hit, fight teachers and kids, it was bad.  One day I had had enough, she was in 3rd grade and was not even close to passing and this was the beginning of the year. I thought all kids passed the first 6 weeks.  Wow was I proven wrong.  Bear was like a tornado one minute and a sweet angel that just wanted a hug the next.  I was having weekly visits with her teachers in the third month into 3rd grade when one of them finally ask me, "Have you ever had her tested for ADHD?"  <---What the hell is that?!  I had no clue that there was such a thing.

I mean come on folks, I was at the end of my rope.  I thought that I just didn't need to raise kids.  I was really screwing this one up bad!  I would cry nightly about this while looking at boot camp schools to send her too.  I just couldn't do it any more.  I was so depressed and I was thinking of calling my mom, whom I hadn't spoken to in 2 years to just come and get her and she can raise her!!!

That afternoon I called her doctor and asked about it.  He said come and pick up these papers so you and the teachers can fill them out and return them to me.  I said how late are you open?  I went, got the papers, took them to the teachers, had all of it filled out and turned back in that day!  The next day the doctor called me and said that they needed me to bring her in, and if this afternoon was OK?  OMG do you want me to go and get her now!!!!???? 

After I took her in and they put her on Focolin XR it was Night and Day!  Literally!  I was back in love with my child.  She was my sweet baby again!!!  Now though that she has been 'labeled' I have to fight for her daily...

I have to have yearly meeting with the school so they can tell me the 'goals' for that year with her.  It is in her record that she has ADHD so all of her teachers automatically treat her as if she is a 'bad' kid still.  They don't give her second chances like a child without a problem would get.  The first time she messes up she gets sent to the principle's office. 

This is my story...Next week I would love to hear yours!  And remember that child you see in front of you acting out may just be struggling with his/her own problems, so before you label him/her stop and think about my story.

To Be (sick) or not to be!

Ok, so, lets just start off by saying I have been sick. I layed in bed all day yesterday sleeping sick, and I only tell you this because if you didn't know that I had been sick well the following would make no sense. 

My House is a disaster! 

I just cleaned it Wednesday! Seriously! Like it was not just an, oh sure come and look at my living room but don't go anywhere else clean, No!  It was, Oh the president wants to come to my house? Sure let me give you the grand tour, clean!  Sadly it is back to its old ways!  I believe that I may have a ghost!  I can clean the house and wake up the next morning and nobody know what happened!  Case in point!
      'Who left this half a glass of milk on the counter over night?!'
         'not me'
          'wasn't me either mom'
            'I didn't have milk'!
 Oh, Really?  it wasn't any of you? REALLY?!  Ok, well that seems Legit!  GHOST!  So we call him Marvin.  So now I say
     'Oh none of you left it out'
         'Well it must have been Marvin' 

Onto other news....Honestly there isn't other news.....Oh there is!  Me and the MIL are talking, AGAIN!  The BIL or the SIL still haven't tried and Honestly I don't know if I want to speak with them.  I know you are going WTF is she talking about!  Ok well I guess I will recap. 

     Me and the in laws, specifically the MIL, BIL, and SIL get into arguments quite often about random stuff.  The last one was about my daughter and a blog that I had up but is now taken down.   My MIL was very rude to my daughter one day.  I blogged about it and was hit with a brick, not literally but by email.  Now if you have read all of my blogs you will notice that I don't use names so if I did mention you in one of my blogs it isn't like anyone will know that I am speaking about you.  They asked me not to "pull them into our fights" and then blocked me from their Face book pages!  I didn't say your Name **** ****!  Even if I had come on it isn't like anyone reads this anyways, right!  So just to say they haven't spoken to me since before Memorial day last year!  WOOHOO!!! Like I could care!  I do have to say though I have been losing less hair now!

Sorry I am a little spazzy, I jump around alot!  Try and keep up it might get interesting!

Back to the house....I am going on strike!  I am playing sick now...maybe for the rest of the week, I don't know yet.  I just don't think that if I clean all day on one day you should be able to destroy it on another!

Ok well stay out of trouble and don't let the Zombies get you!  Peace out!