Monday, March 4, 2013


Family is a funny thing, isn’t it?

Some love you so much that you feel they are smothering you…

Some could care less if you fell from a bridge a week ago and they haven’t heard from you!

Mine is a little mixed…

My family could care less about one another is the way I feel most of the time.  Some of that could be the depression talking but most of it is true.  I have a strange family.  The last time we were al together my sister refused to talk to my grandma because she couldn’t fly to Ohio for her wedding.  I on the other hand have started talking to my whole family again and you really couldn’t even tell.  I feel like no one really cares about me.  I feel like if I were to pass away tomorrow the only ones that would morn my death would be my husband and my kids.  Let me tell you a little bit…..




I have always felt like I was not loved.  My mother did not tell us she loved us until I was in my 30’s.  My mother blamed me for her depression after my dad was sent away.  Me, because I couldn’t stand living with my grandpa, and spent most of my time away from there.  She thinks that I should have spent every waking moment making sure she was ok.  I was 14.  I can remember standing at the screen door at maybe age 4 or 5 and crying because she left for work.  I can remember always feeling that I was adopted and the disappointment in finding out I wasn’t…ßsad right?  I don’t know why she was like this.  All I do know is I have fought tooth and nail to NOT be like her!!!  

She let her husband kick us out of our home of 7 years because he needed an office…I didn’t speak to her for 3 years after that.  Then the Charlie thing happened and I thought “GOD, why did I come back!!!”  While I was mad at her my grandma said some things that she will deny till the day she dies and I missed my Aunt Jackie’s Funeral…L   ß  I miss her! 


On the other hand my MIL smothers us.  She bought us a house…ßgreat right ‘sigh’…I wish.  She bought it so we could stay next to her F-O-R-E-V-E-R!  J  She isn’t so bad (most of the time) ….


I am posting all of this because my sister is Pregnant.  She went to find the sex today.  She hasn’t called me yet.  HER MIL POSTED THE SEX ON FB!  I am just a depressed bitch is all.  Believe it or not I am not even PMSing!  Lol….. 

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