Two for one is not always cool.

I feel like I have been socked in the stomach.  You all know that my BFF is sick and I am totally afraid of losing her.  Now it has finally hit me that I am not only going to lose her but I am also losing my Aunt.

Tina and her Mean doggy

 I love my aunt as much as I love my mom.
 She was the fun aunt.
 She was the one that you would go to if you were in trouble or wanted to get into trouble.

I was asked today by my mom if I could go with her and find something that we can lay her to "sleep" in forever.  She kinda caught me off guard.  Isn't that something that her son is supposed to do?  I am going to have to help my mom and my grandma plan a funeral for a daughter, sister, mom, aunt, and friend to so many.  So many that haven't seen her since she got sick.

My husband asked me tonight why we were having a closed casket?  Well because if someone wanted to see her they should have given her the respect to see her now when it counts.  I for one don't want people coming in and gawking at her when she is finally at peace.  No one goes to see her now.  My mom, my grandma, me, and sometimes when he can my uncle.  Her son has came down to see her twice in two years.  He doesn't care about anything but getting his grubby little hands on what she has left.

My Aunt Tina and Cousin Kelly.

I don't know if I will be able to do any of this sober.  I pray that I can but as I write this I am falling apart.  I am so very scared of losing her and T.G. at the same time.  I don't think that as strong of a person that I am that I will be ok after that.

My aunt when I was around 16 thought that it would be funny to come up to my cousin's room with some wild turkey and give me and Christi a shot of it.  Wow that was some nasty shit.  She was also the one that let me stay with her during the summer of 94' when I went to band camp at SFA.  If she wouldn't have let me stay with her I wouldn't have been able to go.  Thank you TT for being there for me and showing me that sometimes you just have to have a little fun in life and let go.



She is and always will be my Aunt TT....... </3  My heart is breaking.  Mostly for her and the fact that she has no visitors...none.  It is sad that the end of her days and she will be spending them alone.   

My friend wants to leave and I don't think it's fair....

Can I just say that I am scared that I am going to lose my friend...

I don't want to lose her but I don't want her to live the way that she is having to live.  I will so miss our talks and such and her dreams of going here and stealing stuff ;) 

Is it bad for me to say this? 

                                                    I DON'T WANT TO LOOSE HER!  

She is important to me, her son, her husband, and several other people.  It's not fair.

That's all...............................  goodnight .....................GP SUX

Ohio Part 3.....

This week we visit with my sister and her husband. yay...

Can I just say that although I love my sister I probably will never go to visit with her again. 

I went up there on a budget, very strict budget that they knew about.  Yet I was still expected to purchase everything that we would be eating for the week.  Like milk and bottled water.  Then when we went out to eat I also had to purchase that.  So needless to say we didn't go anywhere because I didn't have the money to do so. 

I had a blast hanging out with my sister and my newest nephew though. 








We took a lot of really cute photo's of him but they sleep all the time, because, well,  he is new and he sleeps a lot so Booboo sleeps with him.......


We did go to Pennsylvania one day to go and see some fish but as soon as we crossed the Pa. Oh border it started to rain, hard, so we came back and went to the in-laws to watch a Browns game.

On our way!!

 
 Of course Matty falls asleep as soon as we get into the car...

On the second to last day we were there we became awesome like auntie and I had to take a few pictures.....


All in all I had fun.  On the way back in Tenn, where by the way they should clean up their highways, we hit a large piece of metal in the road and hurt my truck.  I didn't think that we would make it home, but we did where my husband and animals were happy to see me and my daughter was happy to see her bubba!!!  I would highly recommend you taking at least one road trip with one, just one of your kids to get to know them.  We had fun just the two of us....maybe I will do it again next year but with bear........

HELLO OHIO.....part 2

Ok guys, we got of at 6am like I said we would.  Went to the stroe to get ice and of course Coby has to fall on the sidewalk like a goober.  After that we are

O
    F
        F !!!

It took forever to drive the first day, and the second was I felt longer but we finally made it to O-E-OoooO..hhhhi...ooo! 

Our first stop there was to see my friend T.G.  I think her son was more happy to see my though because he ran up to me and almost jumped into my arms, but after that I got out of the truck and gave T.G. a hug.  Yay!!!

We will again go by the days.

Day 1 -  (Sunday) Uneventful.  When I got there we sat and visited for a few and then we had to run to the store.  OHH and we got T.G. Homemade Spaghetti.  OMG it was Delish!!!!

Day 2 - (Monday) Didn't get much sleep....THEY WAKE UP AT 6am!!!  ARGGGG!!!!  Ok I'm up!  So, anyhow, T.G. had a doctor appointment so I had to stay with the boys, who by the way didn't get up until 8am. :/  Yea.  When they got back we had to do some more running around and I was not feeling very well.  We went to a place called "The Barn" (Amish like restaurant).  It was surprisingly good.  Later in the day T.G. and I went and ran some errands without the boys.  It was fun just having "girl time".   Oh and don't let her tell you that she doesn't eat leftovers because on day 2 we had leftover sketti's.

Day 3 - (Tuesday) She had another doctor appointment today but didn't wake me until later.  She took me to see the McKinney monument. Later we went to the auction #1.  I love auctions!  I have always loved auctions.  T.G. got me an oil lamp for like $8!!!  I lub it!

Day 4 - (Wednesday) Camping day!!  The most fun one will have is to go camping with me!
  I talked T.G. into going tubing down the river that is in the park, can I just stop right there, Ohio water is a lot colder than ours in Texas.  On with the story, we went and got our tubes and proceeded down to the water, C (her son) did not want to do this and looking back I see why.  As I step into the water I am instantly frozen!!  That water is so freakin cold!  I am a trooper and I continue on like there is nothing wrong.  C on the other hand has no problem telling him mom that this isn't a good idea.  We no sooner get into the water and begin floating and T.G. gets hung up on a log with C.  Great!  I have no way of helping them, but she frees them.  Away we go and all is going well for a while and then all hell breaks loose!  C falls out of the tube!  Yep and freaks the hell out mostly because the water is so cold because he can stand, the water in this part is only about 2 feet deep.  We get him back on and continue down the river when I find out the T.G. was so scared that she (forgive me) Shat!  hahahahaha!!!    <-----I am rolling in my tube laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Anyways no we didn't finish the river....but the rest of the day was great! The boys rode Go-carts...for C it was the first time!!

Day 5 - (Thursday) So we packed up and left so we could make it to the Amish auction that night because I have heard that the Amish auctioneer has a HAWT ASS!!!  I shall never know because he was  a no show!  DAMNIT!

Day 6 - (Friday) Spent the whole day cleaning and then we went to get our hair done afterwards.  (sorry T.G. I just didn't like that blond blob in the front of my head)

Day 7 - (Saturday) I will never NEVER EVER come up again during the "super bowl hall of fame" parade day!  She made us get up at 2:30am!!!!   Just so we could go and sit out in the rain and cold and wait for a parade to start!!  The after party was great though!  Good food and good times! 

Day 8 - Kinda bittersweet because we were having to leave but I think it was about time.  I am sure that we were wearing on their nerves and as sweet as C can be he was starting to wear on mine.  So we packed it up and headed a little further north.....Watch out Booboo here we come........

Our trip to Ohio....Part 1 of 3

SUPER STOKED!!!

Guess where I am going?  Yeppers, Ohio!!! I am going to see my sister and my partner in crime Tori!  I am so freakin' excited about it all.  I thought that I would keep y'all in the loop and tell you about my day to days leading up to and then until we get back. 

Week 1:  (getting ready) Planned my route and it is going to take me 19 hours and 11 minutes to go from Texas (gulf coast) to Ohio (Middle).  Yeah we'll see about that.  They don't factor in the fact that people have to pee and take breaks.  What if II see something that I want to look at?  Yep there is more time.

 I have begun cleaning my house so I won't have as much to do when I get back.  It is just me a bubba going so bear and Mertis will be left behind to care for animals and work and pay bills.  As I am cleaning my wonderful husband said, "I don't know why you are doing that, it isn't going to look like this when you get back."  ASSHOLE!  They better not mess my house up while I'm gone. 

I have started to pack slowly so I can make sure that I have everything that I need. 

The count down begins.....

Tuesday (3 days left) I have washed my last load of clothes today.  Packed my blanket and Bubba's Games for the X-box and Wii.  Towels and Washrags are packed. 

Wednesday (2 days Left) Getting the jitters now!!!  I am getting pissy because I am getting no help in the cleaning of the house before I leave and I am ARRRGGGG!  I am done with my packing.   Just need to pack the toiletries. 

Thursday (1 day at home left) <----EEKKKKK!!!! 

Friday (We leave tomorrow)  OMG MY STOMACH IS IN KNOTS!!!  I am super excited!!!  Gotta load the truck and I will be gone at 6am in the morning!!  Wish me luck!

I am NOT sorry! Sorry

I am not really sure how to start this one.  I am really upset with this whole Zimmerman/Martin thing, but not in the way that you expect a person to be upset with it. 

I am upset that this has been made into a black and white thing.  It is not and was not a black and white thing. 

I am tired of Quenelle X saying that this was a racist thing.  How in the hell does he know that?  Was he there?  Oh, I forgot, everything with him is a racist thing! 

He stands there and talks about his family being slaves. Really, and when was that last year?  Ten years ago? 50 years ago?  Oh, you mean over 149 years ago!  Yea I can how that might still hurt you.  That must have been hard on you.  You know because some people that you don't know and have never known were slaves.  Oh and you know without a shadow of a doubt tha the slave driver was a white person because there is no such thing as a black slave driver.

I am what one of my best friends calls a "southern Belle".  I think it's cute.  When I tell people that I am a white woman from Texas, most of them think automatically that I am a Racist.  I am not a racist.  I am southern by blood/heart/mind/soul/and choice.  I say and do things that you may look at and go, oh she is so racist by saying that.  No y'all, that is just the way that I was raised and I will not change for you or anyone else! 

Please think before you say that someone is a racist.  It may sometimes seem that way but it may not always be true.

I read a blog this morning, it was about a man that was once a young man.  He was in college and it was late and raining and he pulled his hood over his head and walked across the campus with his head down so he could get to his dorm. 
      Now without me telling you his color, a security officer stopped him to ask him where he is going.  Instead of answering him he turned and asked him, why?  did I do something? 
      Why ask someone that is trying to keep a campus safe why they stopped you?  Just answer the question.  Here or There.  Real easy.  This boy is black, and seems to think that that officer stopped him because of his color.  I would not be able to tell what color someone is at night in the rain while they are wearing a hoodie.  Maybe, just maybe that officer could and that is why he stopped the only person out in the dark and pouring rain, because it was a black boy. 

Come on!  give me a break!  Really!?!?!  How stupid are you to think that the only reason that man stopped you was because you are black!!!  UGH!!!  I am sure that if it was a white woman he would have stopped her too because under a hoodie in the dark rain it is hard to see what color you are. 

I am just so over all of this and I needed to speak my mind.  Thanks for listening.

My Luck

So I don’t know if you all remember that I had great news a while back?

Well the person that bought my Charlie from me was going to sell him back to me. 

She called my mom and told her that she could no longer take care of him and needed to sell him.  So my mom called me and asked me if I wanted to buy him for $300.00 from Monica Cooper? 

OMG!  Yes I am wanting him back!!  Have you been in an accident and gotten amnesia?  Give me a couple of days to get everything together and I will call you back. 

 

So that was two weeks ago that we had that conversation.  We have had many in between there mostly about when I was going to be able to go and get him.  I am/was in the process of getting our fence up so that we can have all of our horses in the same pasture.  That takes time and money, but, we were finishing it up this coming weekend and I would be able to come and get him this coming week.  I had even went as far as telling my SD that if she needs feed or hay for him to let me know and I will bring it by so that she wouldn’t have to worry about him.  He called a few hours after that and told me that she said that she just needs him gone.  OH.  Ok. 

About a week later I saw in our little paper that some woman with grey short hair and a grey trailer had dropped of two horses at a stable and one of them were in horrific condition!  OMG how could anyone do that?  Why wouldn’t you just try your damnedest to find them a place to live before starving them like that?!  A couple of days after that I got a call from my mom that Monica had dropped off Charlie with a lady that has several (15) acre’s and that when I am ready that I need to go and get him from there. 

Flash forward to today.  I am writing this with such a heavy heart.  That was my Charlie that was in the paper.  I am beside myself.  Why!? Why did she not just call and say please just come and get him.  I cannot feed him.  My Charlie passed away that same day he was dropped off.  My Charlie will never be mine again.  I am so deeply hurt!  So hurt! 

I want her sentenced to life of near starvation EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!  Look at my horse!!!  WHY!!!
 

Here is his ending :'(